when a turtle is not just a turtle

For the past week or so, this turtle has been the wallpaper on both monitors of my work station. Today I changed it. 

I had chosen it as one of the most gorgeous photos in my collection, although I was not the photographer. It's a photo that captures a magical memory and makes me feel many wonderful things. 

But there was also a slight haunting about it. That distant time my body was warmed by sun, and sea, and champagne, and romance. Those time-faded beautiful beaches. Grasping at wandering the lively streets of Bridgetown. A sense of once taking risks and being spontaneous. 

Life is so much not that right now. It is good. And it is not that. The gap between that memory and this reality was too poignant. 

So I swapped it for another image - a picture from the same golden trip, but with crucial reminders of who I am right here, right now. 

I'll get back to the Caribbean. Maybe even to Barbados again. I'll swim with more sea turtles, feel white sand and sunshine. Eat Rock lobster and wash it down with rum. Lose myself in a smile. Someday, all of that can happen again. 

And, in the meantime, courage is here. Curiosity is ever-present. Compassion abides with me. And that is enough.

That's the thing with values. Wherever you go, even in the dark cold days of December, there they are.