Tuesday, September 1, 2009

*sigh*

It's Tuesday, which lately means weigh in day. Last week I was down half a pound. Just one measly half a pound despite walking and obsessively tracking my calories, and even though I knew my calorie intake wasn't balanced (wherefor art thou, protein?) I was still under. And I only lost one measly half a pound. Given the percentages, half a pound is pretty much equivalent to no loss at all. But that was last week.

This week, I gained a pound. Gained. Yes, I had been less careful about my tracking on Live Strong, and yes I've been so tired and worn out that I've indulged in eating junk. But I still tracked, up until Sunday, and I was still under my allowable calories, even on the days when ALL I ate was junk. So I'm somewhat frustrated ...

Cowboy and I like to be active. We like to adventure. And there are few sports/activities that we don't enjoy (including my first time indoor climbing last week! SO FUN!!), and I really want a body that I feel confident will allow me to keep actively adventuring through life. Besides which, I'm really committed to arriving in Mexico in January 30.4 pounds lighter (thus the beach bod tracker on the left)!





I want to live a balanced, healthy life, which to me includes eating the foods I love sometimes, and not having my whole day wrapped around fat/calories/sodium/sugar. I want to LIVE, and obsession and denial do not occur to me like really living.

Last Fall/Winter I was completely at peace with my body. I felt great about how I looked, I was confident and I almost never worried about what I ate or felt like I needed to force myself to exercise. And in that state of relaxation & focus on other aspects of life I lost 15 pounds ... I didn't work it off, it just disappeared.

Interestingly, I came upon a magazine article last week that explains the psychology/science behind what, for me, had been an inexplicable loss. Somewhere in between paying attention to how I treat my body and relaxing and enjoying it for what it is is the magic for a long, happy, active life. I just hope I can find that sweet spot again.

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