lycra, spandex & miracletex OH MY

I'm going away in January on my first tropical vacation since 1995 (PUERTO VALLARTA WOOHOO!!), and I'm SUPER excited. There'll be pools and palm trees and palapas in Yelapa. And zip lines and jet skis and villages with open markets. And in order to fully enjoy this great trip, I'm doing something else I haven't done in over a decade ... I'm shopping for a swimsuit.

In the past, I've needed/chosen swimsuits that are actually designed for swimming & swim-related activity - laps in the pool, playing with children at beaches, staying active while awaiting the stork's arrival by taking aquafit classes. Full coverage, athletically focused, boring, reliable, SWIM suits. They were practical, reliable and pretty darn boring.

What I'm really looking for now is more of a 'lounging by the pool, napping in the deck chair, holding hands on the beach' kind of suit. Preferrably one that is gorgeous and fashion-forward and sexier than you'd believe yet appropriate for a 42 year old mother. And by some magic of lycra, it will somehow make me look 32 pounds lighter (since those darn pounds don't seem to be going anywhere) and simultaneously hide rolls, stretch-marks, and scars while emphasizing curves and minimizing weird tan lines (don't worry, Ma, I'll wear sunscreen). It'll be feminine and flirty and something I actually look foward to putting on. Oh, and it should be safe to move in ... nobody needs a repeat of the tragic strapless malfunction of 1984.

So, for the last couple days I've been perusing swimsuit collections online. And I have to say, it's nearly as traumatizing as is trying on swimsuits in real life. If a suit makes a size 0 model look like she has a flabby belly, what chances have I got? Not to mention, I just about burst into tears of outrage yesterday when I was perusing the size chart on one designer brand's site and figured out that a Large was equal to a size 6-8. Large. Six. To. Eight.

Anyway, swimsuit shopping is high on the to-do list while we're in Seattle this weekend, and these suits below are inspirations for what I might be looking for:


1. Desire by RYGY Swimwear - the bead on the strap allows you to adjust the coverage, and there are two ties on the low back for security.

2. Marrakesh by OnDadeMar - I just love the halter top, amazing print & moderate back.

3. Lustre by Jets - OKAY - this suit is 100% old school pin up girl, with subtle side cutouts that narrow the rib cage AND an awesome sexy halter/tie back, and tummy shirring is great for hiding flaws.

4. Sanibel Surplice Tank by Miraclesuit - Miraclesuits tag line is "Look 10 lbs. lighter in 10 seconds" to which I reply, I'll take 3!