I've been sick this weekend - fever, aches, rattling lungs - and being largely home/bed bound has been the perfect opportunity to read a book I bought 2 weeks ago, but have been somewhat scared to read. I free fell for a few days after ending things with Cowboy last month, and then realised all there was to do was to start creating what I truly want in my life.
I've spent a lot of time thinking about what I truly do want, getting reacquainted with abandoned dreams, and listing what's working and not working for me. It all amounts to a Total Life Makeover that I have been talking a big game on. To be fair there have been easy changes - losing 10 inches of hair, and reinvigorating my body - and the promise of bigger changes that are really exciting.
But I falter. And I wonder how much I can jump the rails I've been on so long - the unsatisfying job, the uncomfortable home, the stumbling BBs. I wonder what the road looks like getting from chubby single mom just scraping by to having the life of my dreams.
So that's the backstory I carried to bed last evening alongside my copy of Tim Ferriss' revised and updated The 4-Hour Work Week (check out the blog here). Ferriss' main idea is something he calls 'Lifestyle Design.' And while I am not clear yet on what the whole thing means, I'm intrigued. I don't really know how it will look, but if it means that I can live my dream of be a wold-changing adventurer & also make A LOT more money, I'm definitely willing to give it a go.
As much as I loved teaching, I've never been someone whose identity was based on how I pay the bills, so in some ways Ferriss is preachin, if not to the choir, then at least to someone who has long awaited his life lessons.
So I guess what I'm saying is. It's time. I can't keep waiting for my life to start. And I'm scared. When you don't have any margins, any movement is risky. But no more risky than continuing to hate my life. I'm sure I'll let you know how it goes. :)