I had a surprise house guest this week - someone who for 12 years has known, loved, cajoled, supported, and calmed me. I don't really even have a 'category' for who he is - family of choice is the best I can think of.
Anyway, among other encouraging, wonderful things Glassboat had to say, "I swear I've never seen you this small!" was the most repeated. I argued with him of course. I know I've lost weight. I'm doing quite well at it, without really feeling like it's a big effort or like I've ever been deprived of what I want. I'm feeling better about things corporeal. But, I also know that I've weighed less, that my stomach has been firmer, and - my piece de resistance - that the Calvin Klein jeans with the button fly in my closet, the ones I bought in triumph in 1999 when I was at my goal weight, the ones that have moved with me 4 times in hopes that someday they could be re-worn, aren't even close to fitting me.
The last time he said "You really are smaller than ever." I said, I can't be, there's no way those skinny jeans fit and I wore them constantly in Prince George. I can tell just looking at them they dont' fit. He just said, "I bet they do." And we dropped it.
So this morning I tried them on - now that he's gone and I can be right in private. I thought, what's the worst that can happen? I already KNOW they don't fit, so I can't really be that disappointed. And, maybe they are closer to fitting than I think.
I dug them out from the 'seasonal' stack, where they rest beneath a couple hoodies I've inherited from my BBs and a pair of apres-ski fleece pants I have in case I ever ski again. They are lighter coloured than I thought. With a definite 1999 waistline and unshapely straight legs. I'd also forgotten that somewhere along the way I'd worn out a knee and patched it with black fleece. Yowsa - I think I even taught in these! They are definitely not wearable, even if they did fit. And, unlike every piece of denim I've bought in the past 5 years, they have no stretch. Not even a smidge of give.
Often in life it's hard to be wrong. This time I couldn't be happier. :) I'm sure that when I tell Glassboat he'll be happy to repay me with a grinning 'told ya so.'