looking forward. looking back. being now.

Invent the Future by Cindy Gallop (Trust 30 Prompt 11) 

A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within, more than the lustre of the firmament of bards and sages. Yet he dismisses without notice his thought, because it is his. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

• My favorite quote of all time is Alan Kay: ‘In order to predict the future, you have to invent it.’ I am all about inventing the future. Decide what you want the future to be and make it happen. Because you can. Write about your future now.

Reverb August 2011: "Describe an unexpected moment, activity, sighting or conversation that touched you during July."

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So I'm in the middle of the Trust 30 prompts, and honestly not really feeling them. And, I just got my first Reverb monthly prompt. I'm thinking a lot about STG (and thoroughly enjoying his tweets & notes from Whistler) as tonight it's 6 months since our first date. I have lots else going on in life that's more front of mind when I get here than any writing suggestions coming from the outside.

And, I already blogged today - though I sort of count book reviews as different from a blog post. I know I need to write a real post tonight, but what do I go with? Do I reflect back, project forward, focus on the now - or, do I really have to choose? 

July was quite the month - full of challenges and happiness and fear and learning. I laughed. I explored. I broke down. I got back up again. I celebrated Canada Day with my American love. I had a girls' trip with UberCoach that was 20 years too early, judging by the other ladies on the bus. I celebrated with Miss Lady as she became Mrs. Lady. There are many moments that touched me and many lessons learned. 

What it all comes down to (and something that INFURIATES me when STG tries to suggest it), is that it's time for me to relax. To breathe in the generous support of my friends. To ease back and be held by the love of STG and my family. To trust in my own abilities to take care of myself - to know when I need to act, and when I need to rest. To believe in my own wisdom. To write like I know and love to write. That's what I've learned. And it's what I want - for now and the future.

Tonight is the end of a glorious 5 days off. It's the closest I've come so far this year to holidays (more are coming) and it's been a great balance of love time, family time, and self care. It'll be interesting, as I head back to the office tomorrow, to see if I can keep that balance flowing. 

Self-portrait proof that I CAN relax ...