open to suggestions ... and connections

Courage to Connect by David Spinks (Trust 30 Prompt 13)

Men imagine that they communicate their virtue or vice only by overt actions, and do not see that virtue or vice emit a breath every moment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

• Who is one person that you’ve been dying to connect with, but just haven’t had the courage to reach out to? First, reflect on why you want to get in touch with them. Then, reach out and set up a meeting.

Me.

In the world of cheesy song lyrics - and lord knows I love me some cheesy song lyrics - the cheesiest has got to be "I've been to paradise but I've never been to me." And yet, even knowing how terrible that song is, sometimes it makes me teary. 

I know it's not really true. I have at various points in my life been very much connected to who I am. I have had ample experiences of being myself. But of late things have slipped a bit, and so when I read a question like 'who is the one person you've been dying to connect with' the answer seems obvious. Me.

Less obvious though (not to repeat last night's post too much) is how one does that - how do you go about reconnecting to who you really are - not as some role or bunch of expectations, but as an actual separate human. If I want to have sushi with Mrs. Lady or margaritas with Diva Moe or watch tv with SC2 I know how to connect with them and make that happen. If I want to connect with Shiney I call her. There are mechanisms for connecting with other people ... connecting with one's self takes a little more thought. Or in my case, more likely, a little less thought. 

Earlier this week I watched this very brief TED talk that has lingered with me: 

I've done 30 day challenges before - I've stopped eating sugar, for a month at a time. I've done multiple 30 day writing challenges. So the concept itself is not all that new. But there was some hook in the presentation. Something that said "go on, try it again." 

My counselor and I have also been talking about my need to refill my tanks, add wind to my sails, and otherwise boost my spirits. He's 'prescribed' a month long course of non-drug anti-depressants of my choosing. It's exciting, but I have to admit I'm drawing a little bit of a blank. I have a few ideas for what I'd like to do, but certainly not 30 days worth..

And so I'm combining all these thoughts into one response - my own perfectly self-indulgent challenge. To do one thing every day for 30 days that restores me to myself and feeds my soul. 

Here are some of my ideas ... most of which I'll come back and share with you about [though some of them are none of your business, thank you very much ;-)]. And, admittedly, some of these were already on the books, but there's no rule here that says I have to ditch existing plans - just that I have to do one thing every day that ... makes me smile, laugh, feel grateful, experience joy and peace, etc. You get the drift. :)

• attend the Michael Buble concert (squeeeeeeee)
• go on my first Dirty Girlz mountain bike ride
• jump off a cliff into a cool pool of water
• yoga - hot, cold, au plein air, power, flow - whatever
• read MORE ... slowly, without interruption
• skinny dip (or chunky dunk, since we're being honest here)
• go to The Power of Women event in Vancouver
• attend a fringe show
• Glee 3D Tweetup
• take a lesson/course/workshop in something new
• teach something I know to someone who wants to know it
• ...

Well. That gets me up to the end of next week or so *sigh* I think I'm going to need some help here. I'm certainly open to suggestions, and I'm also hoping that you will share with me what you're doing to feed your own soul for the next 30 days. Maybe you could even come back & share what that's been like for you.

NOTE: While I was writing this, one of the things I wanted to say was that I know I need to connect more with my girlfriends and that I would really love some support with that. Maybe I'll come back to that later.