I woke up yesterday with a knot of dread in my stomach - I knew it was the second Sunday of advent and that I'd need to write this post about peace. I did not feel peace. I felt fatigue, stress, concern, some annoyance, and a little fear. Anything but peace.
So I went about my morning aware of all that. I cleaned, and I sewed, and I thought about Peace, as I do at this and not a lot of other times of year. I considered what peace means - in general, and to me. I consider myself a pacifist, but hardly ever really experience deep, secure peace. Peace is more than the absence of war, but what more?
I thought about the knot in my stomach that has recently developed into a weeks-long ache. I thought about poor STG daring to occasionally suggest that I relax, and about how when I hear it as 'be at peace' it's probably closer to what he intends and to what I need to hear.
And suddenly, it was okay - being 'at peace,' I realised, is a choice and a mind set and has nothing to do with circumstances. That when someone wishes someone 'be at peace' it's a challenge and an invitation and ultimately a blessing.
And so I share, once again, my most fervent Christmas prayer - "let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me"