Thursday, November 10, 2011

truth or dare

Yesterday someone on Twitter was playing truth or dare, and I jumped in and said 'truth.' I'd seen some of his dares, and wasn't feeling like getting out of my seat at the moment, so ... truth seemed easier. Due to some 'glitch in the matrix' (his words, not mine) I ended up getting two truth prompts:
  • What's something you wish your twitter followers realized about you that they don't know right now?
  • What story do you wish you would blog about, but wouldn't dare?
And the prompts brought up an issue that swirls around every once in a while - when you're an open book, where do you draw the line?

A friend of mine on Facebook announced yesterday that she's leaving Facebook for a while for personal reasons. I use the term 'friend' in the Facebook sense - she's a girl I went to high school with. It was a very very small high school, so in many ways everyone in our class was friends. But she's not someone I hung out with, or who I had much interaction with. She was more popular than me and as 'in' as there is room to be in a class of 45, and I was mostly just interested in surviving and getting out of town. But through the magic of social media, after all these years we've reconnected. I have insights into her life, and inferences about why she's leaving Facebook that I'm probably not actually enough of a friend to know about. And I think she has the right idea.

What I realised through Kris' prompts is that I have tended to leave very little unsaid on my blog or on Twitter. Less so recently on Facebook - it hasn't felt like a particularly 'safe' space, and I haven't wanted to be terribly revealing there. Most of the really deep stories I have left are not mine to tell - they belong to my BBs and may or may not come out when they are ready. And many of the things that seem revealing - my fears and insecurities, for example, I think people already know. Anyone who has been paying attention knows I struggle with depression and have for many years. Anyone with any sense of interpretation can see that I can turn anything less than "A+ 100% we love you!" into an utter rejection and failure. People have read about my bumpy  search for love and finally finding it.

There are a couple stories I want to tell that I'm incorporating into my  novel so that I get to say them and protect the 'innocent' (mostly so I can hide behind the veil of fiction). But otherwise, I think the move is towards more subtlety. I can be authentic and self-expressed without revealing everything.

As dear Joan Holloway says "Leave a little something to the imaginations, girls."


  1. People who "get" me like my wife understand who is written about in my fiction. Peopel use dumb words like "class" or "discretion" when talking about what to write on the internet. To me, nothing is off limits unless the people involved have children or innocents who would be affected,

    I love reading your blog. It's smart and interesting. Can;t wait to sign eacj other's novels.

  2. Thanks, Lance. In my novels, all bets are off. But I do feel like online people have the right to some privacy - particularly my sons, who are young adults and dealing with their own things. But people do know that they will likely end up in my blog sooner or later, with a nickname that may or may not disguise them. HA!

  3. Where to draw the line is a really good question. When I first started bloging I was very annomous. Now most people know that I write. That does make me think a little more before I hit publish. But I publish anyway :-)

    I do suppose there will be a time in the future when I may pull back a little.

    Stopping by from write on edge.


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