on containing multitudes

Sometimes people hit you with the big questions, and off you go down a rabbit hole. All day I've pondered this - who am I? 

Am I who I say I am? If I told you what I think of me, would that make it real? 

Or am I who you and the others around me say I am? Is the woman STG sees when he looks into my eyes any more or less real than the two-faced bitch someone else believes me to be? Am I determined by my status as a mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a lover or an employee? 

Am I my thoughts? My choices? My actions?  

If you look closely, you will see I have my mom's nose. My dad's blue eyes. The unfortunate downturned mouth that so often gets mistaken - on my grandmother and me - for upset. 

Some might think I'm a hard-worker, and others think I'm lazy. I'm fatter than I should be, but not as fat as I once was. I'm tall, though just tall enough to need 'tall' pants and then wonder if I should get them hemmed. 

the author at age 12

I am a girl who dreams and a woman of action. 

I'm a small town girl who thrives in the city. I love gardening and hate getting my hands dirty. 

We are all so many things - as my favourite American poet so convivially said "I am large; I contain multitudes." There are as many things I am as those that I am not. 

I am not a fan of country music/horror movies/televised sports/cruelty. 

I am celiac. I am healthy. 

I cannot help smiling when sunlight dances on the water, when the cherry trees blossom in spring, and when I hear my sons laughing. 

It's fun, now and then, to stop and consider who we are. I say, I am love and adventure. And, in general, that is what shows up in my life. 

_________________________

This is my first response in the Scintilla Project, which I'll be participating in for the next 14 days: 

Day 1 - Prompt choices (either or both)

1. Who are you?
2. Life is a series of firsts. Talk about one of your most important firsts. What did you learn? Was it something you incorporated into your life as a result?