Wednesday, March 14, 2012

on containing multitudes

Sometimes people hit you with the big questions, and off you go down a rabbit hole. All day I've pondered this - who am I? 

Am I who I say I am? If I told you what I think of me, would that make it real? 

Or am I who you and the others around me say I am? Is the woman STG sees when he looks into my eyes any more or less real than the two-faced bitch someone else believes me to be? Am I determined by my status as a mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a lover or an employee? 

Am I my thoughts? My choices? My actions?  

If you look closely, you will see I have my mom's nose. My dad's blue eyes. The unfortunate downturned mouth that so often gets mistaken - on my grandmother and me - for upset. 

Some might think I'm a hard-worker, and others think I'm lazy. I'm fatter than I should be, but not as fat as I once was. I'm tall, though just tall enough to need 'tall' pants and then wonder if I should get them hemmed. 

the author at age 12
I am a girl who dreams and a woman of action. 

I'm a small town girl who thrives in the city. I love gardening and hate getting my hands dirty. 

We are all so many things - as my favourite American poet so convivially said "I am large; I contain multitudes." There are as many things I am as those that I am not. 

I am not a fan of country music/horror movies/televised sports/cruelty. 

I am celiac. I am healthy. 

I cannot help smiling when sunlight dances on the water, when the cherry trees blossom in spring, and when I hear my sons laughing. 

It's fun, now and then, to stop and consider who we are. I say, I am love and adventure. And, in general, that is what shows up in my life. 
This is my first response in the Scintilla Project, which I'll be participating in for the next 14 days: 

Day 1 - Prompt choices (either or both)
  1. Who are you?
  2. Life is a series of firsts. Talk about one of your most important firsts. What did you learn? Was it something you incorporated into your life as a result?


  1. At first glance it seemed an easy question to answer, but then the reality stopped the smile from spreading too wide. You did the prompt justice. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Thanks, Jason. I suppose that's the benefit of having received the prompt in the morning, but not being able to answer it until after work. :) Rabbit holes are fun, now and then.

  2. this is an awesome introduction - thank you for participating and sharing. i'm looking forward to what you have to share in the next few weeks.

    1. Thanks, Dominique. I'm really excited about the project and meeting so many great writers!


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