 |
| Image courtesy of Roger Karlsson |
There was bitterness there - the closer you got to it, the more it burned in her mouth.
She'd never really liked apples for that reason - they reminded her that things might seem sweet on the outside, but the closer you got to the heart of things, the more acrid reality you could taste. It was best to dance around the edges of life - to nibble at the sweetness.
She remembered something from her childhood about apple seeds containing poison. Or perhaps that was apricot seeds. Either way, there was poison inside of something juicy and delicious and ostensibly otherwise good for you.
Snow White's wicked step-mother had known about the poison. It ran through the heart of her and into the basket she left her step-daughter. But our girl didn’t have the power to control it; it would use her, leaving her wasted and discarded - more than she could use it.
And why would she want to risk that?
Great twist on the the concept of the core. I'd love to know more. The only concrit I have is maybe take out the word ostensibly. To me it doesn't need to be there.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Wisper. I thought I'd taken to obvious route when I read other posts - interesting how perspective is so variable. Thanks for your feedback - so appreciated!
DeleteI like the apple core as a metaphor, especially as pertains to taste/emotion, bitter v. sweet. I wonder at POV, at first I thought we were looking at someone anonymous, but by the end I wasn't sure if we were hearing Snow White, the Queen, or still our anonymous narrator.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if, with the piece written, you were to then answer the question you pose at the end, you might find the core of your argument.
Thanks, Cameron - I knew I'd dropped a thread somewhere and couldn't put my finger on the issue. Too much third person makes it muddy for sure. :)
DeleteTrue the POV could be focused. I love the poison bleeding through the heart of the stepmother. That's such a vivid image. Intriguing take on the prompt!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Shelton. Will do some pov work and see what difference that makes throughout the longer story. :) Truly appreciate the input.
Delete