Sunday, July 8, 2012

but i won't do that

I've had a lot of thoughts rumbling around in this brain of mine the last few days, but the one that keeps gaining the most air time, increasing in frequency & volume is: what are you willing to do to have the life of your dreams? 

My dream body - fit, agile, reliable, sexy, roll reduced
My dream home - here? There? Where? 
My dream vocation - not just a job, but a personal expression; that elusive income without walls

I'm reminded of something my mom said a few years ago after one of her trips to Mexico with Dad. They had seen a cultural dance that included many stunning young women in skimpy costume and 'dream' bodies. Mom had thought, as we all do about something, 'Man, I'd give anything to look like that.' And then realised that no, she wouldn't. These women were professional dancers, of one degree or another. They practiced. They exercised as a commitment, not just an activity. They monitored what they ate for maximum nutrition from minimum calories. If we were willing to 'give anything' we too would have those bodies. 

I don't. 

And most days I'm not sure what I'm willing to do about it, since whatever I've been willing to do in the past hasn't worked. This conversation is fraught with historical dragons. There is no safe ground. Get out while you still can. 

So what about the other things - the life of adventure; the (perhaps) tropical locale, the flexible work that provides the opportunity and the means to work anywhere and to enjoy life where ever I land.

Am I even willing to sit down with STG and figure out what that would take? Am I then willing to do the work to make it happen? Am I courageous enough to dream my dreams so I can start to build them?

What if it means that for now we have to dedicate evenings/weekends/vacations to creating that future - to study languages or begin businesses that will eventually replace our current jobs or take on second jobs to save up or give up dairy or exercise every day whether I like it or not? 

I get inspired. I read inspirational things. I attend inspirational courses. The same message reaches me 4 different ways in 3 days and starts to reverberate in me, and I think - I am someone who is capable of creating for myself that kind of life, so let's go. 

Only, really. Let's go doesn't happen. Just like not eating ice cream doesn't happen and riding my bike to work doesn't happen. 

And what's left is, I don't know what I'm willing to do to create that life. But apparently the answer is not 'whatever it takes.' Maybe if I didn't already enjoy my life I'd be more motivated. But that's a pretty cheesy cop-out. 


  1. Write down a list of your objectives of what you would do and wouldn't do to reach them. If it's easier to find what you wouldn't do, it will probably mean that you have not a minimal intention to reach these objectives ;-)


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