the semantic lion

The other day my counselor, who is absolutely fantastic and a certified Yoda (if there isn't a certificate in that, there ought to be) asked me, "Do you know how courageous you are? Do you ever really think about that?" I answered no, and no, and said I'd ponder on it.

It's not that I think I'm not courageous; it's just not on my mind a lot. I don't consider myself fearful, so being courageous doesn't have the same zing for me as it might for someone who has a lot of fear to overcome. The trendy definition of courage that has been drilled into me is 'feeling the fear and doing it anyway,' but according to the dictionary a more accurate definition is 'fearlessness' so ... that fits a bit better.  

As per usual, I'm being clever with words to get around the issue. His point was really that - in his observation - I am missing some central awareness that who I am is kinda kick ass. Apparently he's of the opinion that I do things in a way that's kinda ... ballsy. At least, I think that's what he was saying, but in more counsel-ory words.

"Bold" is a word I would describe myself with before "courageous," but bold also has a slight brassy tinge to it that I don't find particularly attractive. It's right up there with being a 'broad.' I know I've got a fair degree of 'bounce-back' and my fair share of 'keeping on,' and perhaps at some point that becomes courageous. But is the blow-up clown courageous because it bounces back every time you punch it? No. That's just what it is designed to do.

Anyway, I said I'd ponder the question. And so I'm pondering. Really, what I think of when I think of courage is the Bible verse (which was read at JJ's dedication service because when you give your kids Bible names it makes the dedication service easier for the pastor, but once again I digress):

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged,
for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9