Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Accidental Inarticulate

Although I hold my word skillery among my most prized possessions, it often happens - when pushed comes to shoving - that what I want and need to say is not at all what comes out. In ink (or pixel) my words are generally fully arranged (mostly even self-arranging), neatly ordered little thought soldiers who march out, form an intention, and build a foundation, and march on through to the end (though sometimes typographical errors leave a few walking wounded). But in speech, well, that's a communication of another colour.

It seems that sometimes when I mean to ask for assurance & comfort, what comes out is 'does this shirt hide my fat tummy?' And sometimes when I'm scared and want someone to check the dark corners for monsters, the words sound more like 'go away, monster.' There have even been times when this dyxlexicographia has struck so ferociously that when I tried to say I need some time for myself it came out 'I can't be with you.'

It causes untold upset and creates drama and sadness. The funny thing is, it also creates opportunity. Like how the crazy lady talking to herself on the street always has room to walk, no matter how crowded the rest of us are. And, there's another upside - it's possible that sometimes 'That's really interesting' can sound like 'You have the most gorgeous lips - kiss me.' And that 'I enjoyed that' can sound like 'please, sir, can I have some more?'

I am sorry though, to everyone to whom I tried to say 'I love you' and it came out 'I don't need you.' Maybe I'll learn sign language and see if that works better. Or maybe I'll just blog.

1 comment:

  1. This post totally just brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing so openly of yourself. xo rita


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