Sacred/Secure Heart/Head.

Everywhere I looked this week I saw signs, guidance, and nudges (not to mention a thinly veiled threat) about the essential and urgent need to do what my heart is here to do. But I struggle and beat myself because I know I still gotta do what I gotta do to keep above water.

Jerry Colonna at The Monster in Your Head lauded the Dance of Security as the foundation of our lives. Like Hugh MacLeod at Gaping Void, Jerry quotes Bill Plotkin who said:

The first step is creating a foundation of self-reliance: a survival dance of integrity that allows you to be in the world in a good way—a way that is psychologically sustaining, economically adequate, socially responsible, and environmentally sound.

Once you have your survival dance established, you can wander, inwardly and outwardly, searching for clues to your sacred dance, the work you were born to do. This work may have no relation to your job. Your sacred dance sparks your greatest fulfillment and extends your truest service to others. You know you’ve found it when there’s little else you’d rather be doing.

And just when I thought "phew, I can sit back and just make do with survival" along came Cari Vollmer who asked in her newsletter "What were you born to do?" I could answer without hesitation: I know who I am; I know what I'm good at; and I know what I'm  here for.

I think the secret is in the mix. You can't have all icing and no veggies. Or all play and no effort. Or can you?

One day this week I worked for 5 hours. Then I packed up my camera, jumped in a gleaming white chariot, and was whisked away to the beach. I'd done the survival dance in the morning, and in the afternoon my heart glowed in the sun and the surf. For just over an hour we felt the sun on our face and the breeze off the water. An hour was enough to go back to life restored.

I'm still figuring it out, and finding ways to merge - even just for glimmering moments - the two dances. Plotkin promises

What your soul wants is what the world also wants (and needs). Your human community will say yes to your soul work and will, in effect, pay you to do it. Gradually, your sacred dance becomes what you do and your former survival dance is no longer need

It's nice to lay down the whip I've been using to punish myself for not yet being someone whose survival dance is redundant. And let's face it - I'm not a starving princess-artist locked in a garret. And no white knight is coming to rescue me. I can do - and am doing - the work to create my own freedom. And some days I even get to ride along with knights doing sacred dances of their own when they want to head to the beach.