Tuesday, October 4, 2011

may your song always be sung

So I decided to be a little quiet for a while rather than continue to whimper and whine - the stressors and worries were winning, and I just didn't want to keep going on about it. It had been coming for a while, and Friday was the end of it - BB1 was moving out again. And for the first time in my life I'm living completely alone - not even any pets to distract me from the emptiness and quiet. Once I'd seen BB off with my parents, I popped by STGs and picked a fight mostly just so I'd have a reason to cry some more. 

It felt awesome, to be honest - you know how sometimes you're choking on a cry all day and wish you could get it out? How it becomes this physical knot that makes it hard to eat or breathe. And then the crying starts and the perfect person is there to hold you and let you let it out. Ya. He did that. Despite my being temporarily less than logical. And then he wiped my face and said, "You do know, right, that you have a great boyfriend who loves you VERY much?" Sniff. Nod. 

And then UberCoach came over for dinner and we laughed and cried some more. And each day since there's been less crying and more laughing. The Dutchman came over to watch TV. STG and I hung out and discovered that it's not a bad thing to be 8 months into our relationship and finally have a place to be alone together. And tonight Mrs. Lady had me over for dinner and we caught up on our various places on the roller coaster of life. I'm not very good yet at being with the quiet. I have the TV on more than strictly necessary. But, like I said, each day there is more laughter and fewer tears. 

When I moved here last year I was excited about what it would mean to be a young empty-nester. That didn't go quite as smoothly as I'd originally planned, and there are some things to pay attention to that I know now. But I also know we're all where we need to be. And, I miss my BBs. 

Maybe that's why this song has been with me a lot lately. It's the theme to one of my favourite TV shows, and every time I hear it I get a bittersweet tug. This song is for my boys - "May you build a ladder to the stars, And climb on every rung. May you stay forever young."

"Forever Young" by Bob Dylan

May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.

May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.

May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
And may your song always be sung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.

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