Monday, October 10, 2011

constancy, change & getting back on the board

I just got home from a four day weekend with STG and his friends to our wild west coast. I've only ever been for mini-trips before and I was so amazed - again - by the ocean. I've lived near the Pacific coast for 10 years and I'm still blown away by its power, its constancy and its constant change. The south island is lovely; Pacific Rim National park fiercely wildly stunning. 

It was a great weekend. Four days of adventure with STG and a brand new first - surfing! I'm a water baby,  so I'm not surprised that I loved surfing (though really I think what I did was called bobbing in the water), but I am constantly amazed by the things I am open to and the fun opportunities I have with STG. Every new experience is a new chance to be myself - to revive the adventurer in me, and to rise to the challenge. 

And then there are those other things - the intricacies of sharing a space with five virtual strangers, the unnatural intimacy of it, and the expected and unexpected reactions and interactions with individuals and the group. 

Like our adventures, in these things, I surprise myself sometimes. And disappoint myself other times. There's this thing about surfing when you're learning to just be on your board where a momentary lapse in focus finds you under a wave. A longer lapse and you might just find yourself being pulled beyond what's technically safe. Getting to know new people, it seems, has some similarities. Lose focus, or belief in who you are, and the next thing you know you're under a wave and wondering which way is up. 

It was a fabulous weekend. I hope we can do it again. I'm proud of myself for getting on a surfboard for the first time and for getting back on it the second day when I could barely lift my arms. And I'm continuing to learn. Getting back on the board. Seeing what I can do differently - on the water, and in my head. And seeing the beauty and the fun in it all. 

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