I registered this morning for a leadership training workshop next week called "The Passion Test." Another registrant mentioned that there's an online pre-test that one can do to get a sense of the workshop, and I thought "what the heck, why not check it out?"
I had trouble reading the results because they all hit so close to home:
You are at a turning point. This is your chance to permanently shift your life in the direction of joy and fulfillment. All it requires is making the commitment to change.
There is no need to be any way other than the way you are. Breathe deeply and feel the feelings that come up. When those feelings settle down, do those things which allow you to feel more expanded, more open. Listen to music, go for a walk, work out, dance or read a good book.
You feel pretty confused about life. You'd like to change your life, but you don't know how. Most of the time you feel pretty beat up and don't know which way to turn.
You have felt bound and constricted by the commitments you've made and the expectations of others. You may even have thought sometimes that it was just too much to continue.It's time to make a decision. You know how good it feels to be doing what you love, surrounded by people you love. The only thing that prevents you from having that wonderful experience every day, all day long, are beliefs that it's not possible to have joy all the time.
Eventually I got to the end of the results ... the sledge hammer:
You are unique. You have special gifts. No one else can give the world the gifts you have to share. It's your time, now.
The other night STG asked me when I'm going to start singing again. I sort of blew him off, and he said "it's important to me." So I said I'd start.
Why should my boyfriend have to convince me to do something I've loved all my life?
Why do I resist doing what I love just for me?
Throwing out what I love to do and what fulfills me to make room for what I "should" do is an old old habit ... and not one that really works.
I'm really looking forward to this workshop. Maybe I'll find my passion at last.