envy

Envy, like most of life’s misery, comes from comparison. Tonight at my knitting circle, which is meant to be a fun way to get out, meet a few new women and strengthen relationships with others, and learn a new skill, envy crept in as emerald as my Peruvian wool. The PinUp is learning so much faster than I – she started a cable stitch tonight. I’ve yet to successfully purl. UberCoach is almost a skein ahead of me on our similar circular projects. I ripped mine out once there. Once more at home.

In truth, none of my misery has to do with what’s going on out there. It all has to do, as always, with that relentless voice in my head – why bother. You can’t do this. You are an ideas girl, not practical, no good with your hands ... and on ... and on ...

I’m having fun. I may never knit a cable knit sweater, or even anything I’m proud enough of to show to others. But I’m having fun, I’m spending time with great women. And, for at least a little time, I’m doing something new with my hands and my brain. I hope I can remember to have that be enough.

So far I'm best at the shopping part of knitting :)