regarding values

This was such a bizarre year to set my intentions on being fulfilled and living by my values. Then again, maybe it was the perfect year. Periods of global confusion and upheaval (not to mention being repeatedly thwarted in my personal life) can be an opportunity to stop and think about what really matters to us as individuals, if we take a moment to reflect. 

While in shut down for the pandemic, what did you miss most? What did you resist doing and not doing? What old habits got you through? What new habits did you pick up that may or may not be fulfilling? Who could you rely on to make life better (or worse)? As communities re-opened, what did you do first? What have you still not bothered to do? 

Answers to these kinds of questions might point you in the direction of your values. For me, having identified my values before Covid-19 was a household word, let alone a universal source for memes, gave me something to hold on to, and also something to bump up against and question. If justice is a value for me, how does that show up in life? What action am I taking to expand justice? How does watching Netflix for up to 10 hours a day reflect valuing my vitality? Who have I connected with? 

My values have helped through the lonely and dark days, though often I find that my emotions determine how much attention I spend on my values when I think that the reverse would be more effective. I have a theory that I'd be more fulfilled (happier, more content, more energized, prouder of how I spend my time) if I prioritized exercising my values over giving in to just not feeling like it. 

Over the 22 weeks (April 26 - September 26) that I kept daily track of expressing my values, I was surprised to notice that observation didn't really make that much difference. I am generally motivated by gold stars and quantifiable results (tales still bubble up about that time I totally lost my sh*t over an unfair A- in university), but knowing that these tick marks would turn into a table and that ultimately I would share it here really didn't induce more action. 

I also have the feeling, though it's not provable in this graph, that the value of "Connection" is a cornerstone for activating other values. That may be because of the people with whom I connect: the people in my bubble are also adventurers, they will talk with me about Black Lives Matter and the treatment of Indigenous peoples in Canada. My friends get me out for walks or a swim. So on days when I experience connection, it almost always increases the overall tally.

Click to enlarge

What I had hoped to see, over time, was a gradual but consistent levelling out of the weekly totals. Looking for progress, not perfection, I thought that if I practiced each value 4 times a week that would show a level of balance and growth that seemed like it would support feeling fulfilled. In fact, over time, the weekly gaps got larger as values such as vitality and adventure rose and stayed elevated while faith and (more surprisingly) creativity floundered. 

As I've continued to read about values, I've realised that six is too many. Most "experts" suggest that three or four values probably cover it, and I think I've found my refined list*:

• Courage (includes adventure, creativity, justice, vitality, and faith)
• Curiosity (includes adventure, creativity, justice, vitality, and faith)
• Compassion (includes connection, justice, and faith)

I'm going to keep pondering how these three values feel - are they sufficient? Are they true? Do they reflect who I have been, who I am, and who I want to be? More to come. 

Earlier posts in this inquiry include 

• So, it's 2020 is it? - January 1
• Onward - January 21
• About those values - April 27

* Technically, I stole this list. I was asked in a job interview which of these 3 organizational values I most identified with, and had a very very hard time choosing. Thanks for the inspiration, interviewer.