Some days are tougher than others – whether it’s the monkey on my back, or the alien on my face, some days it’s just tougher to see my way clear. There may be two roads. There are likely many more. But today, I see no roads. I only see ruts. The same mistakes. The same track grinding away under the same worn out, broken-down tires. The same slipping traction, sliding backwards, hoping against hope for some bump that gets things moving in the right direction again. And hoping like hell that that direction includes the fog lifting, the view clearing, and two roads. Or more. Or even just one.
This made me cry. I am struggling with things that tugged at my heart, with your words. At least you see ruts, I don't see anything in my horizon.
ReplyDeleteA big hug for you, all the way out there in Texas. No pat answers, just a hug and some space to be. XO
DeleteI can totally relate to your frustration - but hopefully you can take comfort in knowing that everything only lasts for a season. The best advice I ever received was this:
ReplyDelete"Whenever we are faced with making a decision, the harder of the two is probably the right one. What is easy is usually just a temporary fix."
Thanks, Emily. The temporariness of things does make them easier. :)
DeleteSo familiar that pain of feeling like a cat that just feel from a tree. Really really loved this line: whether it’s the monkey on my back, or the alien on my face.. sometimes I feel that the alien is me.
ReplyDeleteYes, that too! Or like the monkey and the alien are fighting around my head! :) Thanks for stopping by.
DeleteLoved it. Every word and phrase packed a punch. Nice writing.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Cait. I've been practicing short posts and trimming my words.
DeleteI can hear the frustration and the pent up anger. I liked the imagery of ruts instead of road and just feeling stuck in your situation. I hope one of the ruts opens up soon.
ReplyDelete~Angela
Thanks, Angela. The jostling is easing; I take that as a sign the ruts will smooth out soon.
DeleteThank you all - there is something so comforting in knowing my feelings and words resonated with you. I love the encouragement, and the connection.
ReplyDeleteOh, I so know that feeling of spinning my wheels and getting nowhere. Of trying and trying and trying different tacts and ending up in the same place. I hope the frustration eases soon.
ReplyDeleteLikewise for you, Mama.
DeleteLove this, mostly because I've been in these shoes the last few months. I can truly relate to the "alien on my face" and the "ruts". Brilliance!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like a great many of us are in the same place, Shelton. At least we're in great company. XO
DeleteI think you've tapped into something a lot of us are feeling. Sometimes there are too many roads, sometimes none, but the fog always lifts.
ReplyDeletePerhaps it's winter ... more time for rumination on ruts. Thanks for stopping by, Cameron.
Delete