4:29 pm

Some days the prompts just don’t prompt. I can see what they are going for, maybe, with the 4:29 pm prompt, but it just doesn’t relate for me. Yes, technically my job is 8:30 – 4:30 and for many people that 4:29 pm prompt is the dawn of freedom. But, there are few enough days when I actually start at 8:30 and end at 4:30. And, my job is not some horrible life sentence I’ve imposed upon myself.

So. There’s little meat for me in this prompt. Yes, I suppose that someday I have a dream of not having a job, but of having streams of income that come from being out and about in the world spreading the grammatically-correct word. But, for now, here we are at 125 words, the blog commitment fulfilled, regardless of the lack of inspiration in the prompt.

YES!

photo

I try. I really do. But time and time again, what I see when I look through the camera is not at all what comes out when I download the pictures. It was better when I used my film camera – each precious frame had to be a winner, since each frame was bought and paid for, and would cost even more to develop. I choose carefully, and still discarded too many precious moments. 

I see so much beauty in the world. I wish I had a visual way to translate that. I keep trying. But mostly, I know that my talent is in painting with words. Perhaps it’s time to accept that. Perhaps, even, to celebrate that.

[NO PHOTO ... 

FOR OBVIOUS REASONS]

two roads

Some days are tougher than others – whether it’s the monkey on my back, or the alien on my face, some days it’s just tougher to see my way clear. There may be two roads. There are likely many more. But today, I see no roads. I only see ruts. The same mistakes. The same track grinding away under the same worn out, broken-down tires. The same slipping traction, sliding backwards, hoping against hope for some bump that gets things moving in the right direction again. And hoping like hell that that direction includes the fog lifting, the view clearing, and two roads. Or more. Or even just one.

night

Oh, what a night. A night of dancing, of friendship, of great food and revelry. A night of sharing ourselves, learning about others, and crashing at long last into a fluffy white bed with a view of the city. It was a night like many others, though too few of late.

Last night was the annual staff party for my employer. STG went and had an unqualified great time, but as I drifted off into exhausted sleep last night, I recognized that these were feelings I’d had after many good nights before – nights that I intend to have much more often this year. It's a part of the 'be more' program - to be more & have more FUN!

hope

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Hebrews 11:1

It’s not hope that’s been lacking – to stop hoping would be as unnatural as to stop breathing or jumping to conclusions or get hurt feelings over every little nothing. But when you have no faith, hope doesn’t bring joy, it just brings more emptiness.

Without the faith that ‘things hoped for’ can actually happen, hope is a nasty self-abusive taunt. So, this year I’m going to try having a little more faith. Maybe things can get better. I keep telling the BBs that. Maybe it’s time I start believing it to. Not just to dream, but to take the actions consistent with those dreams coming true.